It’s weird to think that I’ve been here for at least 3 months now. During this time I have met some really cool people, with a few of them close enough that we can hang out a couple of times a week. A couple of weeks ago there was a 6 day EPIK Teachers orientation. At the orientation I got to meet many more people from around my area. It was pretty sweet. Of course it wasn’t all fun (part of the fun being eating fresh chopped octopus) there was quite a bit of information being packed into the 6 day orientation that I’m still recovering from.
As I’ve been teaching (and learning on the job) I’ve come to realize that middle school boys EVERYWHERE are the same. haha, same attitude and everything. There are just some days that I absolutely regret choosing to teach middle school, especially when I hear all the other people talk about how amazing their high school classes (or lackthereof) are, I also now have a general idea of how I (and much of my classmates) made my french teachers feel when we had to learn french. There are days that I just want to bang my head against many hard or sharp objects in frustration. And there are other times where it is just absolutely incredible (usually in the amazing classes where EVERYONE participates…but that happens like once every 3 weeks…or month). I’ve wanted to give up and just mail it in, I’ve wanted to just yell at the boys and lecture them about taking this more seriously…especially because so many of them have dreams of becoming international business men (I teach at an all boys middle school) or want to travel outside of Korea and go to English speaking countries.
My winter break is coming up in about two months, I’m really looking forward to that. Actually I’m really looking forward to the snow, oddly enough. I remember in Canada I couldn’t wait for the snow to melt but now I can’t wait for the snow to come. It’ll be a little taste of home. Winter break should be fun as well, the plan is to go to Hong Kong with a friend for a week. I am getting more and more excited for that. It should be fun.
However, this whole time away for a year isn’t all roses. The job itself is often difficult, the language barrier is hard as well. The most difficult thing is neither of those two, rather it is deeply spiritual. Through this job and just my stay here, it has been very apparent to me that my spiritual discipline is very weak at best. I really don’t have an excuse for it. I’ve stopped reading the Bible, I’ve stopped memorizing verses, I’ve stopped praying, I’ve stopped reading other books, I’ve stopped listening to sermons and I’ve stopped going to Church. And I’ve noticed the effects far more clearly more than I did in Canada. I’ve also come to realize as well that this happens every so often or so, for about a month. It’s not that I don’t care, it feels like it’s more so that I’m running away from Jesus. I don’t know why I am, I don’t necessarily have a good reason that I am. I know in my head, that I should run to him instead of away from him, however the rest of me refuses to believe that. The Cross, Jesus…. Grace looks WAY more terrifying when looking at it from a heart that has stepped away from the Gospel. So it’s time that I dug back in, not with my own strength for that is prone to fail and give up easily, but with the strength given by Grace. Jesus help me, not so much with the job but more so in diving into and enjoying You. Because dwelling in and enjoying You makes the joy flow into everything else. Help me.